I am writing this blog to share my friends about myself. Who am I ? Different people have different opinions about me. And everyone claims to know me the best. But to my surprise they all know only a part about me. I took this exercise seriously and asked my best friend Prabhat to write about myself. Who am I, according to you. He is my childhood friend, and still we are together. I expect he must be knowing me completely. But I am aghast to find that he also knows me partly (but better than other friends). Am I that much mysterious, I thought for a while. I asked myself what could be the reason of this mysterious personality. My introvert personality and shyness comes out as an obvious answer. Is it bad to be  a shy or introvert? I leave upon you to decide.

Looking to the people around me, I get a sense that being introvert is not perceived well enough. People like to accompany group of gregarious person. Honestly admitting the truth, I am an introvert person. Hardly I make friends until I know him completely. And that's the reason I have only few friends. It's not like I don't want to make new friends but I feel shy to share my secrets. Thats the reason i find myself difficult to come close to new mates. Let's delve deep into it to figure out the reason for this intrigue and mystic of my character.

My childhood days:

In childhood I was very shy person. Hardly I interact with mates in the class. Most of my conversation with them was confined to homework only. The reason for this shyness was - I do not feel comfortable revealing about myself. It doesn't mean I was not notorious, but most of the time I restrained my mischievous characteristics. My teacher used to call me silent killer. I always maintained a fair amount of intimacy with friends. As the time passes slowly i became close to my mates. Hesitantly I started sharing jokes with them. But still making friends outside my acquittance was very daunting task for me, I prefer to be known as a demure. I like secluded life. It give me an opportunity to steal time to introspect my life. I prefer to brood myself to arrive at any solution, instead of seeking suggestions from friends. This behavior kept me apart from large number of my mates and school friends. I love to accompany only those friends with whom i am comfortable, though such friends are very few. Later on when i grew up, i analysed my personality. I find myself cosy with my loneliness. I was shy and hence I never say even my close friends that how deeply I associated with them. I believe my friends will felt it with my behavior.

Action speaks more louder than words. Confessions are not required in deep friendships.

In home I was notorious person, always in lurk to exploiting every opportunity to make fun out of every fuss. I brought up in a joint family hence accompanied with many brothers. I think this is the reason why I never necessitates the friendship outside home. I grown up in a closed environment you can say. Neither I changed school and nor usually came in contact with outside friends of my age.

A big turn came in my life when for the first time I moved out for higher studies. I am aghast to notice the cruelty of life. My parent send me Indore for studying in class 11th. I took admission in ILVA school, Indore, Fee was deposited and all of a sudden my confidence starts quivering and I came back to home. It was horrible to imagine that I was alone in this big city. I have grown up in the cocoon of parental care. It was difficult for me to adjust in new situation. I give up the thought of studying in cities and returned back to home. I used to think studying in cities is not the only way of developing competencies and making career. We can develop the same caliber living in home itself. Just stay focussed on the goal. But then it contradict with my dreams. I committed myself that I would develop same caliber in me. I completed schooling from hometown. Again tried to move out of home for the preparation of PMT entrance exam. But again feel uncomfortable to adjust myself with the circumstances. It was not my destiny, I realized this after encountering the real competition at coaching institute. I moved back, not because I find it difficult but it was not of my interest area. At that time I have an opinion that PMT is the only way out for biology stream students. I have an instinct of excelling at other fields. Then I took a decision to make my career in my interest area, instead of pursuing else(friends) dream. Well. That's enough revelation in this blog. I would continue this relevation in my next blog.

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